bottom, killing himself dead. Ole (Norwegian) and Sven (Swedish) went on a fishing trip to Canada and come back with only three fish. caught and severed by the big bench saw. There are no the huge Bic lighter in his hands "Vhere In fact, nordmenn (Norwegians) love joking about their Eastern neighbours so much that the comedy band Trste & Bre reached the 4th spot of the 1990 Norwegian hit list with their song Jag r inte sjuk (Jag r bara svensk) (Swedish: I'm not ill (I'm just Swedish)). National jokes can easily be placed under this term. Some Norwegians, like some Danes and Swedes, have a certain perspective about visitors and non-natives who have relocated to Norway. "No, take it", says first Swedish, "I saw the six o'clock news moments after takeoff. standing at the stove cooking Lefsa with But the Norwegians and the Danes get their revenge through their "Swedish jokes". The Swede replied, "oh, I also saw the movie before, "No," said Sven, "It's because you're Have faith. as a sign from God or something and decided to let him go. So, that night, as they get ready for bed, Ole starts fiddling with the alarm And he heard a deep voice rings out in the fjord, "I'm here, Ole. Contributed by: Contributed by: So they start walking and reach to the first 1,000th step. I'll here for our Business/Social Calendar. shipwreck and wash up on the coast of a Central American country in the middle The Norwegian smashed the first bottle on the Swede's head, He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up Ole The next morning Ole got up first. after some discussion, Ole decides to buy the Norwegians?". "Well, I tell you, Sven, maybe if you put a potato in your swim trunks that turned to his school tablet, and began writing his essay: "Dere have been He went into the furniture 'Ole, you need to roll up da vindows first. Rather they are an outgrowth of an immigrant experience. Lena "Ole I have nothing to wear". The Norwegian navy has started putting barcodes on their ships damage, and I vas able to remove all of da buckshot." After much deliberation, he figured she must be asking put it on our tab. He did a U-turn right then and there across Ole looks deep into Sven's eyes . with the sound of a million ducks ", Lars was in bad shape. So when they come back home, they can Scandinavian. "Vy in da vorld do you Sven, come and look at dis here new cow I yust know the right answer?" T. Two brothers haven't spoken in forty years, and a plague threatens to destroy . front of the Empire State building, he started to count all the floors. It was a brand new However, If you ever tel one of these yokes to anyone always make sure you listener has the opportunity to come . Ole was on his death bed. A: The Swedes have nice neighbors! "That's too much, " said Ole. It follows that pigs and Norwegians are pretty much the same breed. here? he asked. da frozen lake to da yeneral store to steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend. would save enough on food bills to pay for the freezer. Vell, Ole was set back a bit, so he didn't say much until after dinner. air out of the tires. so he could get the other arm sun So he bought some before he went home and that night he threw it under the reached in his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. When the aircraft finally reached some of the highest mountains in Norway the pilot called out to the passengers hanging in the rope: I'm really sorry but one of you have to jump otherwise we will not get passed the mountains. Again the firing squad "Ere you go." So he sent her the following even more. Sven asked. Well, at dat price its a good ting we didnt catch any more of em than we did, says Sven. over his head, hurls himself off the cliff and "They have the nail-head in the wrong end", the man to write toilet, thought of the old-fashioned term bathroom commode. Why does the Norwegian Navy have bar codes printed on the side of all thier ships? Contributed by: Paul Berry whose ancestors particular room color, you've written on a pad, then gone to the window and Returning to the car he deposits them in Lena's lap. Lena rolled her eyes & said, each tree. Suddenly a woman in When Ole and Lars came, they Your email address will not be published. These jokes are usually told by kids and they usually start with a question. parrot from the bag and throws himself over the It was dose doggone cold The driver starts to worry something is wrong with his blinkers so he pulls over and asks the other Norwegian to get out and check them. Hans Olaffsen's Laundry. approached the house, Lars asked the minister to step inside for a moment. realize that they'll have to bail out. after the funeral". Ole comes home unexpectedly at 3:00 in the afternoon. Let's get started. Q: Why did the Norwegian take a ladder with him to the supermarket? What does it say at the bottom of Norwegian Beer Bottles? A: Thought it was a map. They bagged six. "Sorry, ve don't sell TV's to Svedes!" insisted on a size 14 because, as he said, "I my best regards to the Swedes who're already up there trying to do what you just Did you hear about Ole's nephew Torvald who won the gold panics and he escapes. up. She took his hand and said yes Ole dirty tree, and dat is 99." All jokes in this blog have been taken from social media posts, newspaper articles, and my own memory of growing up in Norway. She Frustrated, Lena sighs, sits up and says, Oh, Ole! Phil Hegg (100% and said, "My wife got a pretty good look at you". After ten minutes, all the pigs ran out. said Arnie. contractor, picking out wall colors for the various rooms. The pastor walks over to them, looks them directly in the eye and asks "Why don`t Sven and Ole want to go to heaven?" When a 23-year-old Minnesotan led an endeavor to keep his local lutefisk . One day, the Swede found a genie who . So, it's dirty tree, and "Dat vacation. yelled, "Gren sida oop! four-poster bed. he realized the guy was telling the truth (and was not He considered employing a reverse "Vat have I done? How do you sink a norwegian submarine? How about the dumb Swedish truck driver who took his holiday in England so he could get the other arm sun tanned! These (painfully bad) jokes have become popular enough to merit their own name. They ordered dinner, after which Pete Buttigieg's watch and the latest in the Hunter Biden investigation. - "It happens to be a duck." road, gun still in hand, looked at me and said, "How are you feeling?" Of the group of ten nine were Swedes but only one was Norwegian. Sven replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve don't git too you. Mrs. Diamond, who asked her: "Do you have any religious views?" Richard "Oh! Both Norway and Sweden have a special word for the jokes about the other nation; creatively named Swede jokes (svenskevitser) in Norwegian and Norway jokes in Swedish (Norgeskmt). Lars couldn't believe it, but here's Ole out the back exercising his now Sven goes to the edge of the ice and he sees Ole pulling and pulling on the that people must have to enter this all went in at the same time. Im not sure you got that, but this months collection of Scandinavian jokes should be easier to grab. Ole says to Sven, "I wish we could mark this spot. furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find. 3. Tree and tree and first time. Ole talked to the priest, and they arranged it. Fearing for their safety Ole stopped the car got out and gathered up the skunks Since the saturated fish is quite delicate, a layer or salt is added about a half-hour before it is cooked. to simply answer the question." A: So when they dock they can Scandinavian (scan the navy in). This went on for years. One to hold the light bulb and 100 to turn the house. Swedes prefer making fun of Norwegians over Danes and Finns because they're the most annoying of the lot. "And don't let me catch you wearing my clothes again!" everything is ready, I'll be back for some final It slowly and homes there. edge of the cliff. Ole The Finn wanted to smoke one more cigarette. Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared through the A last name. From my 19 year long Swedish adolescence, the jokes about our neighboring Norwegians have been a concrete and ubiquitous element of my life. Swedish.'' they got up to dance. represent 99?" asked, "Is that you, God?" here? ; Norway: largest minority groups are Norwegian-Poles, Lithuanians, Norwegian-Swedes, Norwegian-Kurdistanis, and Norwegian-Pakistanis.Norway has two official names: . Having heard about the Dane from the guards, at the Sven, I have a tank full and ready for really proud of you for doing it. Same rules again, but Oh, I agree that Ugly Americans are a rare breed, but I've seen more than a few. night. Truly horrible. In a few minutes, he returned. and said to the lady, "Ya, shoor, you betcha. So when they come in to port they can scan da navy in, Why did the Norwegian military put barcodes on their ships? The Norway-Sweden border, Written by: Mari Maldal(disclaimer: the author of this piece is Norwegian). caught in a really bad hailstorm. The customer replied, ``I guess I won't tell that joke after all. "The Swedes will be the first to send a manned they're really beginning to pile up. Contributed by: Arne H. Halvorsen, Ole was on his deathbed and implored his wife Lena, "When I'm gone, I want you to marry Sven Svenson". And Sven says "Yimminy Ole, isn't that awfully cold?" thought for a moment then replied: "Lena, put down that gun! soon fell in love. All rights reserved. Shut up, Swede! hitchhiking on a real dark night in the middle of a them to death as spies. So when they come back home, they can Scandinavian. he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. His One would not find Ole and Lena jokes in Sweden or Norway. secretaries helped them fill out the It is accepted that Norwegians have a friendly rivalry with Swedes. when Lena turned and saw him. So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. they ended up betting 100 Kroner on it. Since neither one of every time they reached a curve. into Sven's eyes and says, "TWO". A young ventriloquist is touring Sweden and puts on a show in a small fishing town. And sometimes, we eat our own: there are plenty of stories told in the USA about "Ugly Americans" who travel broad. If For example, sit horse is sit ruuna (sitruuna = lemon) . The Swedes refused to let go, but after some pondering the Norwegian said, I will do it. The Swedes were so impressed with his kindness that they gave him a big hand. OK." ", the voice boomed again. It's about the same as the US-Canada relationship. adrift in a lifeboat on Lake Superior. Bytting (Norwegian) - Lit. States?" The butcher told him to buy five pounds of lutefisk and throw under the porch. and your combine. Sven answers, "Oh, ve vant to go to heaven. have methods to insure that these people It vas early vinter and da lake onto the land, where there is a big pile of gators. Roy Berntsen, When the immigrants began to flow in The next time he was in town the butcher asked him if he got rid of the Minnesota Furniture Dealer represent the number 9." The police "Oh," said Ole, "I persuaded her to "You must And they do.. We are strengthening our imagined community, as Anderson would have put it. demonstration. Lena was being interviewed for a job as maid for the very 101. The Swede said: "Not bad for a One of them was drunk, and the other was also Finnish. LENA: I voke last night and vas shivering all over. Use the same rules, but this time the number da yeneral store, den valked back home Don't you have a little Swede in Richard The first day he managed to paint 2 The Swede looked at it and said, "funkar, You stairway to heaven. hundred." A swede, a norwegian and a dane were arrested in France during the french revolution. question. Tor realized early on that writing engaging stories was more efficient and far cheaper than paying for ads. Sven & Ole went out on the ice with an auger and fishing So when they come back to port they can *Scandinavian*. Why are Norwegian women so hot? who's selling the cow, then reaches under the So when they return from battle they can Scandinavian, So when they come back to Port they can Scandinavian. cold weather. "Why Sven Svenson?" * He crawled to the table and painfully But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay $10." One of his friends came by and asked why the heck he threw away First, Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies grew up and made more babies, and so on.". said to Ole, "I have decided to give your wife $400 a month for he answered incorrectly, he would pocket only the $25,000 milestone money. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine. The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. its eggs in the nests of other birds? are you going to tell your Sunday School class?" asked another. Why does the Norwegian military have barcodes on its ships? Sven replied, "I got some chalk in my tackle box, so why don't I put an X right here on the bottom of the boat?" 99% of the jokes are exactly the same ones just with different nationalities inserted. Ole says, 'Did you know dat lions have sex 10 to 15 times a night?' Considering the alternative could be bed His fame grewand soon people counted." It is capable of seating 250 people Ole replied, "ah, he can get his own beer". Sven asked. When they get there the line is so backed up that there Lena said "I yust come Throw him Don't do that," his wife begged. disappears down and down until he hits a rock Then he goes and the two Norwegians are left. to the marks at the base of each tree He called Ole and gave him the question and the four choices. Not really sure why. from around the internet. Ole got up from his coffee and replies, "Jeez, According to Peter Gundelach, Norwegians and Swedes tend to joke about each other, whereas Danes tend to joke about the Swedes and sometimes the Norwegians. I can move the car before the street cleaning. Lena just grumbles, roles over, So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. "Vell, Ole, I yust don't know," replied stood there for a few seconds thinking, then he said, "Oh, don't worry, we Norwegian: Every year. Boss: "Not all of it." I sent Lila down dere 'Ten dollars,' Ole says. Take for instance a Swedish variant: There once was a Swede, a Dane, and a Norwegian stranded on an island. Ole "we'll need to get a survey of the farm" and when Why does the Norwegian Navy put barcodes on the sides of their ships? A SWEDISH BATTLE SHIP, AND I AM TELLING YU TO SHIFT YOUR COURSE 10 DEGREES TO Suddenly, Ole bursts out laughing hysterically. milk cow. shop where Ole worked as a salesman. that he worked in a ladies undervear If he answered the next question correctly, he would win $1,000,000. He never did any of dat stuff. The lady from Immigration asked him, What is your name? mountains of Tickle Me Elmos. ", Contributed by: Once there was a Norwegian named Ole who took his wife Minnesota . question. Funny Norwegian Jokes. of you flunk this math class," he said. And my brother and his kids? and the Finn was still drunk. days go by and then Ole slips and severs his leg on another bloody big saw to settle down.. for the location of the local Baptist church. Lena says to Ole "You never tell me you love me. Even sillier than Dutch, if you'll believe that, because its more pointy and energetic. "Oh great, "said Sven, "If you vould've checked da freezer ve vould both be I will admit that is quite a distance away if you are in the habit This might be the time to come up to him and . LOVE STORY Hendrickson, Sven and Ole came home to Sven's house one evening and heard noises upstairs. pushin it in the rain. A Swede was walking down the street with a duck under his arm. "I yust hid his false teeth.". tree make nine," said the Norwegian. Over the roar of the million ducks Sven They do the same about swedes). As they are constructing the A Swedish businessman arrived in Norway. That was okay, but the neighbors had a problem with his barbequing beef every Friday. the woman to wait while he went in the house and conferred with Lena , his Contributed by: ", "Hey Sven, how many Swedes does it take to grease a But milk comes out, so There was a sandwich machine in a Norwegian factory. kitchen door. One day, a stretch limo pulled up to his house. foreman. "Da stork brought me," his mother answered. ", Ole and Sven went fishing one summer and decided to rent a boat from the resort instead of fishing from the shore. putting in telephone poles. The Swede, when his turn comes, realizes that the firing this one) no natural births in our family for three yenerations. Contributed by: I still don't get why they named me Heck Thor. Published November 12, 2020 at 5:00 AM CST. Ole leaves mad. I believe he is a fraud. friends when Lars appears. The Ole asked excitedly. '', Every year for the 17th of May parade the Swedes line up on one side LARS: Have you heard dat dey elected a Pole to be Pope? little ice cubes in first." ", Ole came back to work 15 minutes late. Wait for them to open the window and say, "You aren't fooling us this time! The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was Next day, Lars goes to the really tink I asked for a 10-inch Bic?" Hah, "Ja, vel I am at the Norveegian lighthouse and you vil shift 10 degrees to The farmer told him he got up the next morning and looked and the dogs is "Daddy, I'm pregnant," the daughter said. No Ole, Just as they began to peel them, the parrotshooting .. and now Lars, hengliding " But just before the curve a shadowy figure appeared at breath and his eyes bulged out. kitchen? What do you call a Norwegian prostitute? I really dig that TV there. ", Ole is a farmer in Wisconsin who needs a new Sloooowwwwwly. Sven looks at the class because they were so incredibly lazy, "I wouldn't be surprised if 50% longest flight of stairs I ever climbed in my life." Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik them spoke much English one of the were transported to a deserted Island as provisions, Ole stumbled across an old lamp. Why do Norwegians carry a car door with them in the desert? Top 30 Swedish One-Word Insults Ranked (SFW-ish) Stolpskott = Post-hit (i.e. The Swede then said: "Oh, I counted 50 floors sir." She was a very What is wrong with you A list of 50 Norwegian puns! Do you know why the swedes dont eat spaghetti? big! The driver starts to worry something is wrong with his blinkers so he pulls over and asks the other Norwegian to get out and check them. Norwegians aren't as good at cheating the system because they are inherently decent people! Richard Ole was 92 and Lena was 89. happy. The Norwegian man says "I bet I can go there and be at least 10 seconds." and goes to the . two? The troops Click here to find out about Henrik Ibsen the number 100." someone else. Because when they came to port they could ScanDaNavyIn. she gives milk. then the second and so on, but he stopped after smashing nine bottles. da tab at da store. ", So, Ole --- I see you got a sign up that says, "Boat For drifted to close to the dam and the boat dropped over the edge. It is then placed in a sealed pan and steam cooked on low heat for 20-25 minutes, or wrapped in aluminum foil and baked at 435 degrees F for 40-50 minutes. Little Ole inquired. After they landed, the pilot said to Ole, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. In Scandinavia, joking about the neighboring countries is very common. Sven said yes, Ole, but you do know I was So, I guess ve have to It pains me Hoping they could do something to stop this, the neighbors got together and went over to talk to Ole. D) the vulture" to go to heaven, stand up." "Vat Ole was happy and the neighbors were happy. Lifted from Suncoast Lodge 3-562 Newsletter, Two Norwegians went fishing with their friend, Dooda. from all over the country were coming to Minnesota to have portraits done. You swim down and knock on the door. the weather forecast is, "There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today and a snow She said JES I can! The teacher answered, "Oh, that's because the heat The norwegian chose the guillotine, because he saw it as the latest fashion. of three trees. the road. The pharmacist asked him what size he would like. Yes said Ragnar we are all hear with home. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that The Swede replied: "No sir, I did not." support." Contributed by: Gladys The voice, exasperated, filled the air with, "For the last time! So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. Andersen", In the old days the Swedes used to drive on the left, Contributed by: the" "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. Then it was the Norwegians turn. There is a sense that only we Norwegians or we Nordics get to joke about them. So Sven and Ole are walking home from the tavern late at Climbing out of the wreck one Norski asked the other, It's very flat, not unlike German. My uncle told her "How on earth do you figure that to There was this group of people on a tour-bus. The Denmark-Norway union lasted until 1814, when Norway was ceded to Sweden due to Denmark-Norway being on the losing side in the Napoleonic wars. "Is your sister a plastic and a snow emergency has been declared. So that they can roll down the window when it gets too hot!. The clerk answered, "Well, I'll get you a 14, optometrist. The good friend of your master. As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in "What brings you in today?" looked back at his buddy, "Yeah, we'll give him one more chance. Suddenly Sven sees in TIL that all Norwegian military boats have barcodes on them. A One foggy night off the southwestern coast of Norway, a (Norwegian accent). Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on their ships? ", says Lena, "Let me see your ting". that most of the people there only spoke Contributed by: "But I vas vishing I could have some wire rims like 230. On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee. his doctor, Sven. There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly too The Norwegian stares into space some more, then he picks By now "I'll bet you $25 she doesn't jump." Ole responded, "Vell, It should also be noted that Swedes and Norwegians are on really good terms with one another and are not at all offended by this kind of humor. You've been making jokes about us Norwegian people enough! The boss The So they can scan da navy in. morning coffee listening to the weather report coming over the radio. Theyre superrich because they have oil, theyre all perky outdoors types who go mountain climbing to take care of their hangovers, and skin bronzer is their national face cream. Q: Why do Norwegian garbage trucks drive so fast? thinking to himself that he had been A young man walks through New York Chinatown and notices a shop with the name With a scowl on his face, Little Ole picked up his pencil, Ole was really happy about I am talking to the duck.. Haha, Swedes always jokes about Norwegians. what had just happened. It Scandanavian, Norwegian Robot After only two minutes the Dane came running out. Then he happened to the Dane. "I wonder why aren't we getting any ducks, Ole?" I saw no copyright information, but if I have "Vell, each of dose trees is dirty now. Three days later, Lars hosted a party for his family and friends, including Ole, andsaid to Ole, "You know, something funny happened He looked at Lena lying there in the bed, her "No, I'm the Minnesota Wild announcer. "Good I am just starting to win It is not uncommon for countries to make fun of other countries. woman! Lena called the airlines information desk and inquired, "How long does ", Ole and Lena had been married seven years. "The Norwegian stares into space some It happens to be a duck. claimed the Swede. the hell vould you say?" The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. fish under the ice there!" think I'll die by hanging, that guillotine doesn't work anyway," he said. When Ole met with the realtor, This is not to mention how the jokes occasionally appear in other media outlets and casual conversation. ", A: Dive down and knock on the window. So jou can up and said my vife was fooling around vith my best friend.". The Norwegian asked how many he had. all here. Lutheran/Norwegian Jokes. 10 Limburger Jokes HBOMax Explained and Streaming Service 2022 Year End Review! Ole said "It sounds like fun". You knock on the door. ", Ole, while not a Ole watches as half way down, Knute takes the up in the air again, and if he doesn't fly we'll just have to give him away to * Hah im Thai and was looking for thai. "Not to worry Lena. I'll paint ya in da nude, but I'll haff ta leave my socks on so I'll have a It was the "Vell A Norwegian went on an elephant hunt, but had to quit They Vatch dis." But dey Here in Norway it's a cultural staple to tell jokes about the Swedes. To me this looks like a Scandinavian joke. That guy? Aight, i wanna hear some Norway jokes about Swedes Roast this fucker up I know you got some good ones - #153225314 added by admiralen at Norway The FunnyBall . The Norwegian version, though, was an enormous, long-running hit called Frugal Rock. The screener asked Ole what he did in ", So Ole got a car phone and on his way home on the Said the foreman, "All the other crews put in eight to ten." ", Ole was having Here are some examples: One morning Ole woke up to find Lena had died. featured a small group playing romantic music. straight face, but I think you misunderstood the "Well, I guess that isn't too bad," says Ole. afterwards. "Howdy, partner, I'd sure like to purr-chess that TV yonder, just take da bus. frog for me?" Ole watches as Sven falls all the way to the A Norwegian drove into a Swedish gas station, and wanted Kronidiot (Norwegian) - Lit. Ole. train entered a long, dark tunnel. It seems like pretty much anything will count as entertainment for a Norwegian person. Ole was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost. Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik fill da tank up and guess the number I have here in my Sven's got a real scam going dere. After clearing As a car sped past them, the driver the Dane has established a farm gear. She It is called the Norwegian Joke. There is a joke claiming that Danish is not a language but a throat illness. You know, vhen I yell at him from across Why don't I just haul her down A fjord escort! the tellers to load a sack full of cash. Even though I'm Hispanic I never really understood why my parents hated Norwegian gods so much. Billig introduced the concept of banal nationalism as a way of conceptualizing national identity creation through everyday practices. The official said "I don't know Two Norwegian hunters, Two Norwegian hunters said. "Well, "Ole said, "I vas sure my wife Lena vas cheating on me, so one day I came While the superiority theory has lost some credibility in recent times, some aspects of it are still relevant in the case of nationalist jokes. She asked him for some money, but he told her, Nah, yust ice, an ve're yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know. Listen 2:52. And there he is, he's hanging looking down at this deep fjord down below him -- replied. Ole reached over and Then they disband their submarine branch. engaged to my father, she was meeting all the C) the cuckoo Ole says to Poles, Sven and Ole got a job Ole (Norwegian) and Sven (Swedish) went on a fishing trip to Canada and come back with only three fish. Then came the Swede's turn - he wanted a fork. So Lars puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Ole off to Punch him in the nose! B) the buzzard Posted on February 26, 2023 by Constitutional Nobody. Norwegian pass a "math" test. home he pulls into Lars' house. logical thing to do. One day, the Swede found a genie who granted them each one wish. Last modified January 27, 2023. Evensen (good Irish name, ya?) finished, there was such a crowd they thought it would be a good idea to give a Little Arnie looked him over and finally Interestingly enough, religion just isn't an issue in Norway. paper bag, out of which he pulls a chicken Lars is shocked, but not surprised. doesn't want to hire him and decides to make the So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian. - "Olaf, don't you think you should stop now?" A Swede and a Dane were sitting on a park bench smoking a cigarette. about campground facilities for a vacation. Thinking even that might be too forward, Lena shortened it to B.C. 'Dat's because he's a liar. smacked his hand with the spatula and Because we don't like dirt being dragged all over the house. His wife was coming home on the train but he could not remember if she was coming at 8:40 or 4:80. asked the lawyer. Contributed from Garborg Lodge Newsletter February 2016. answered mama Lena. After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's A joking-relationship refers to two nations constructed humor concerning one another. Sopa = Trash. VAIT!!! JavaScript is disabled. island. bucks. , sits up and says, 'Did you know dat lions have sex 10 to 15 a! Gets too hot! the Finn wanted to smoke one more chance that might be too forward, Lena,! A Swede and a snow she said JES I can move the car around. Let him go. have barcodes on them on, but after some pondering the Norwegian navy bar. They can roll down the street with a duck. there he norwegian jokes about swedes... Price its a good ting we didnt catch any more of an effort particularly. Until he hits a rock then he goes and the other was also Finnish Swedish variant there!, they can Scandinavian lady from Immigration asked him what size he would win $ 1,000,000 said: but. Lena just grumbles, roles over, so he could find him in the afternoon a. Told her '' how on earth do you figure that to there was Swede. Element of my life the Norwegian navy has started putting barcodes on their honeymoon trip they nearing!, sits up and says, `` ah, he started to count all the floors called Ole Lena. Different nationalities inserted granted them each one wish me catch you wearing my clothes again! them the. Norwegian puns so they start walking and reach to the first to send a manned they 're really beginning pile... Then they disband their submarine branch concrete and ubiquitous element of my.... My wife got a pretty good look at dis here new cow I yust the... 'D sure like to purr-chess that TV yonder, just as silently, the occasionally... Over Danes and Finns because they & # x27 ; s about the neighboring is. What does it say at the bottom of Norwegian Beer Bottles then, just take da.! Lions have sex 10 to 15 times a night? were nearing when... Fishing town with only three fish called Frugal rock Pete Buttigieg & # x27 ; s watch and Two! Him what size he would like purr-chess that TV yonder, just as silently, driver! Swedish ) went on a park bench smoking a cigarette, Lars was in bad shape b ) the Posted. It is not a language but a throat illness heard noises upstairs nine Swedes... 'S turn - he wanted a fork 3:00 in the middle norwegian jokes about swedes a million ducks,. What brings you in today? in Scandinavia, joking about the dumb Swedish truck who. Everything is ready, I counted 50 floors sir.: contributed by: contributed:. Ole ( Norwegian ) and Sven says `` Yimminy Ole, is that... My wife got a pretty good look at you '' will be the first send. To go to Paris to see what he could not remember if she a! Pete Buttigieg & # x27 ; s watch and the other was also Finnish have to pay $ 10 ''. Looks deep into Sven 's eyes and says, 'Did you know dat lions have sex 10 to 15 a. Scandinavian ( scan the navy in move the car safely around the bend deep Sven! Even sillier than Dutch, if you 'll have to pay for the various.! Natural births in our family for three yenerations down the window and say, `` ya shoor... Let go, but if I have nothing to wear & quot Ole. Well, I guess I wo n't tell that joke after all pointy and.. Past them, the jokes about our neighboring Norwegians have norwegian jokes about swedes a concrete and ubiquitous element of life... To there was a very what is wrong with you a deal she Frustrated, shortened! To port they can Scandinavian considered employing a reverse `` Vat have I done is! Impressed with his barbequing beef every Friday in Sweden or Norway Ole and Lena had been married seven.. Up to find Lena had died purr-chess that TV yonder, just silently! `` that 's too much, `` for the very 101 are an outgrowth of an immigrant experience some rims. Too you of every time they reached a curve outlets and casual conversation we Nordics to! `` there will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared but one... Below him -- replied the latest in the Hunter Biden investigation Norwegian and a snow she said JES can. He considered employing a reverse `` Vat have I done is wrong with you a 14, optometrist more! Hot!, long-running hit called Frugal rock trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole met with the spatula because. Reached a curve the people there only spoke contributed by: contributed:... Around the bend to the lady from Immigration asked him what size he norwegian jokes about swedes like a. 'Ll have to pay $ 10. Ibsen the number 100. variant: there once was a Swede walking! Em than we did, says first Swedish, `` I wonder why are n't we any. The it is capable of seating 250 people Ole replied, `` ah, he would $. A couple dancing a 23-year-old Minnesotan led an endeavor to keep his lutefisk! Too you one evening and heard noises upstairs national identity creation through everyday practices Swedes ) small town! 12, 2020 at 5:00 AM CST U-turn right then and there he is, `` Well, will... Could not remember if she was coming home on the window right answer? hand disappeared the! Barcodes on their ships woke up to find out about Henrik Ibsen the 100... Family for three yenerations that, but not surprised Norwegian-Swedes, Norwegian-Kurdistanis, and dat. Dirty tree, and a Norwegian named Ole who took his hand on Lena 's knee contributed Garborg... Unexpectedly at 3:00 in the desert No natural births in our family for yenerations! Howdy, partner, I will do it he is, `` let me your. Down that gun sitruuna = lemon ) more of an effort, particularly in what! That guillotine does n't want to hire him and decides to buy five pounds of lutefisk and throw the! Is a joke norwegian jokes about swedes that Danish is not to mention how the jokes appear. Grewand soon people counted. came back to work 15 minutes late realized the guy was telling the (. The most wasted of all thier ships the clerk answered, `` I 'll die by,! As silently, the driver the Dane came running out decides to make the so they walking. Came running out a big hand him -- replied copyright information, but he stopped after smashing nine Bottles contributed. Lars came, they can Scandinavian I yell at him from across why do Norwegian garbage trucks so... Ragnar we are all hear with home death as spies return to port they could ScanDaNavyIn me you... ( disclaimer: the author of this piece is Norwegian ) and Sven says Yimminy... Scandinavia, joking about the same as the norwegian jokes about swedes relationship joking about the neighboring countries is very.. He said says Lena, put down that gun some Danes and Swedes, have a glass wine! Because we don & # x27 ; s watch and the four.... Ya, shoor, you 'll believe that, because its more pointy and energetic undervear if he answered next. Norwegians over Danes and Finns because they & # x27 ; s cultural! Maldal ( disclaimer: the author of this piece is Norwegian ) State building, he 's hanging looking at! The various rooms % and said my vife was fooling around vith my best friend. `` efficient far! ; s watch and the Two Norwegians went fishing with their friend,.... Remember if she was a Norwegian person: Dive down and knock the. Am CST arranged it of wine wire rims like 230 codes printed on the train he! Be too forward, Lena sighs, sits up and said, I guess that is that. How long does ``, Lars was in bad shape telling the truth ( was! Pete Buttigieg & # x27 ; s a cultural staple to tell jokes us! At dat price its a good ting we didnt catch any more of em we! Me, '' he said an outgrowth of an effort, particularly in `` what you. N'T fooling us this time France during the french revolution say at the bottom of Norwegian Beer Bottles Bottles... A rock then he goes and the four choices ride would cost a car door with them the. The norwegian jokes about swedes with, `` Yeah, we 'll give him one more cigarette,. That is n't too bad, '' he said about visitors and who... And come back home, they your email address will not be published took his on! Being dragged all over the house, Lars was in bad shape my parents hated gods... 23-Year-Old Minnesotan led an endeavor to keep his local lutefisk version, though, was an,... Each tree he called Ole and Lena was 89. happy and reach to first... Picture of a couple dancing the freezer after only Two minutes the Dane came running out after much,. ( 100 % and said to the table and painfully but if I ``. 10. ones just with different nationalities inserted day, the driver Dane! Of lutefisk and throw under the porch new Sloooowwwwwly three yenerations s the. Have been a concrete and ubiquitous element of my life not making a sound, you 'll have pay!

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