You might find it interesting: 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You. "Hold that thought forever." A: The back of my hand. You have an old soul, think about it, your face is old too. If youre going to be an asshole, at least have the decency to do it where I cant see you. Did someone leave your cage open? I dont know what makes you so stupid, but it really works! I dont mind that you are talking since so long, as you dont mind that Im not listening. I dont think you are a fool. However, its not always rude. "That's what she said" Do you practice being stupid, or does it come naturally. You're just mad that your dad's pussy is pinker than yours. He could look through a keyhole with both eyes. How do you make the nostrils come out like that? Sure, as soon as you get it out of your a*s. This is a witty comeback that incorporates that classic insult of someone having a stick up their a*s. This response is very mysterious and confusing, it means nothing but people will probably not know how to react but laugh. Does the new one work better? I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you. Stupidity isnt a crime, so youre free to go. Look at the time, its time for you to shut the f*ck up! Get the best comebacks and insults below: You're cute. "Tell your Mom, I said "Hi" Is your family tree a cactus? Not at all gross today. I always rooted for the little ones. From the moment I first saw you, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life avoiding you. Guy: Does beauty run in your family?Girl: It obviously doesnt in yours! We think of you when we are lonely. I consider you something a vulture would eat. A witty response to use as a comeback is to pretend like it is some sort of foreign concept and you had never even considered that sucking a d*ck was something that could be done. This one goes left then right then left again, salting the wound. Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you? So dont be afraid to get a little bit creative and have some fun with it. Sometimes our enemies, friends, or some unknown people are trying to attack our emotions during arguing. In your case, one would have been better than none. We all spring from apes, but you didnt spring far enough. We do not complain about your shortcomings, but about your long sayings. We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note saying, do not come home and all will be forgiven. He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams. I would never date you. I was trying to look like you today. I noticed the improvement immediately. You are so dishonest that I cant even be sure that what you tell me are lies! You are so dumb, you need a cue card to say Huh? You are so dumb, you need instructions on how to use a rocking chair. You are so dumb, you planted a dogwood tree and expected a litter of puppies. You are so dumb, you play solitaire for cash. You are so old, if you to acted your age, youd die. Dont be ignorant all your life, take a day off! Ever since I saw you in your family tree, Ive wanted to cut it down. For two cents, Id give you a piece of my mind and all of yours. Have you considered suing your brains for non-support? He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.Hey, I heard you went to the butcher and asked for 10 cents worth of dog meat and he asked you if you wanted it wrapped or if you would eat it on the spot. Your hair looks great! 8. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. The people who make these movies must be really dirty-minded. After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." I had never seen such a small mind in such a large head. Theres only one problem with your face I can see it. 34 Funny Memes Stolen From the Meme Factory, 20 Unhinged Tweets That Belong to the Streets, 30 Awful Lifehacks You Probably Shouldn't Try, 15 People Reveal the Most Horrifying and Traumatic Experiences Theyve Lived Through. Short White Guy: "You're tall, Do you play basketball?" Hey, you have something on your chin. "Keep Your opinions to yourself" Are you looking for funny insults and comebacks? 4. The universe has already helped by making you look like that, My headaches left immediately I left your presence. obsessed by sex. Im a little busy right now. Here are some cool examples of the same that are bound to make you break into a smile. The Truth About Six Pack Abs by Mike Geary Review, Make Women Want You: 3 Steps To Attract Women, Capture His Heart And Make Him Love You Forever, Reunited Relationships M3 System Review, Stroke Of Genius By Cassidy Lyon A Detail Review, What is Einstein Success Code about? Are you a drill sergeant? The greatest loss is you. I found it in my business. Smd is an informal, slang, and crude way to say screw you or to tell how something is terrible. Any friend of yours - is a friend of yours. Never mind, its too long." Remember when I asked for your opinion? I bet that if you run the way your mouth does, youd be in good shape. "You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing." As such, these should only be used in defense or on someone who understands that they are jokes. Now I understand why some animals eat their young. I dont know where you look. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. So nobody understands you.. it isnt art but stupidity. Im baffled by just how flexible you can be. You couldnt handle me even if I came with instructions. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. If ugly were a crime, you'd get a life sentence. Oh, I didnt realize youre an expert in my life and how I should live it. Everyone loves a good comeback story. / If you could smell you, you wouldnt be friends with you. Wanna take the joke a little far? 30. Yes, I talk like an Idiot. Im sorry. I think of an unfair life every time I see you. If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. Learn more about us here. Everything for planning your trip or vacation at one place! However, I cant remember anything about a fool. Guy: Im all youve got cutie pie.Girl: Then I must not have a lot. Thank you, were all challenged by your unique point of view. There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them. There are two requirements to be a smart ass, dont worry though, you got the second part down pat. There is no vaccine against stupidity. There was something about you that I liked, but you spent it. They say opposites attract. Ouch. To this end, I leave you with the exquisite words of Vince Lombardi. Whether youre arguing with a friend, family member, or even a complete stranger, these comebacks will help you hold your own. So for once . The last time I saw a face like yours, I fed it a banana. Mind if I ask where the OFF button for your mouth is? If laughter is the best medicine Your face must save the world. On some occasions, as mentioned above, it can be said in a joking manner between friends who like to joke around with each other and is said with no malice or rudeness intended. Husband: "Only you, Darling with all the others I was awake." I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. 51. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, weve been married for ten years. For the longest time, in the dynamic world of arguments and quips, the only thing more delightful than winning an argument is doing so when on the brink of defeat. 23. The mirror broke when you looked at it. 37. These comebacks may be harsh, but sometimes people need to be put in their place. Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? The Comebacks is a hilarious comedy released in 2007 that spoofs the best inspirational sports movies ever made. Youre a pain in the neck. Lets play house. 3. 4. So feel free to use these funny examples and theyre sure to be received with peals of laughter. 1. Im just smarter than you. I hate you. Id give you a nasty look, but I see you've already got one. Views. Guy: I want to give myself to you.Girl: Sorry, I dont accept cheap gifts. I only take you everywhere I go, so I don't have to kiss you goodbye. Your father left the best parts of you on the bed sheet. A fool is the same all year round, and we celebrate you on April 1st. 77. I will sue my parents if I have a face like you. Beam your phone up with these great ringtones from the Star Trek tv series. Thank you for the Bullshit sandwich, but I'm full. I treasure the time I dont spend with you. Well, dont worry, below you will find 25 of the best comebacks To smd. Never mind, you won't get it." Dont let the haters get you down! Id rather treat my babys diaper rash than have lunch with you. Are you still single because no one will have you? But, if you want to respond with something clever or witty, you are in the right place. 27. 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp "Sex is like playing Bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand" (Photo: Getty Image) By Alex. I told him not to act like a fool. I researched your entire family tree and it seems you were the sap. I think Mother Nature really hates you because you remind her so much of all her mistakes! Of course, roasts are not just part of arguments. Is that a scar on your face? Youre so ugly the only dates you get are on a calendar. Are you sure? Guy: May I see you pretty soon?Girl: Why? Say goodbye to being at the butt of tongue-lashes and sarcastic jokes as we present to you the pinnacle of hilarious comebacks: quippy replies and insults! When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you? The only thing more significant than a comeback is the poise and grace you display afterward. 1. You look so pretty. It's important to have a good vocabulary. But Ill keep trying. Did someone leave your cage open? You owe that tree an apology. You are about to exceed the limits of my medication. Student: "By staying home" Jesus might love you, but everyone else definitely thinks youre an idiot. No thanks, I have a toothpick already. Let's go to the zoo. Dirty Minded Comebacks If you're the type of person who enjoys a good pun or clever comeback, then you'll love these dirty-minded comebacks. You have miles to go before you reach mediocre. I dont know what your problem is, but I bet its hard to spell. Your wig is slipping, and so are your senses. 2. Guy: Would you like to dance?Girl: Not with you.Guy: Oh, come on. "I like the noise you make when you shut the fuck up" Before we begin, please note that I dont support bullying or verbal abuse of any sort. Oh wait, it's not coming off. 56. Husband: "Thank God! I'd give you a nasty look but you've already got one. Wow, I had no idea you were such an expert. Guy: I think youre the best looking girl in here.Girl: Really? Tombstone engraving: I TOLD you I was sick. And with these responses, youll be able to put them in their place. This comeback is best for situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. You know what an asshole is, right? 2. They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how to wave goodbye. Keep talking. Whether youre clapping back at an ex, putting a rude commenter in their place, or just shutting down someone who deserves it, theres nothing like the feeling of giving someone a taste of their own medicine. It must have been a long and lonely journey. You were born from your mothers *ss, because her p*ssy was too busy. I was today years old when I realized I didnt like you. Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? You are like a cloud. One of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wanna help me prove him wrong? I think that was the elevator because you're not on my level! 26. Then you've landed in the right place! If I had a dollar for every time you said something brilliant, Id be broke. Feb 15, 2013 - Image discovered by Ins. Grab these sickening but ostentatious good comebacks ahead of time. Guy: Id like to call you. Someday you will go far hope you are there, 19. you are free to go Stupidity is not a crime. Id like to see things from your view, but I cant get my head that far up my ass. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. We've created informative articles that you can come back to again and again when you have questions or want to learn more! And believe us When you use these sentences Everyone will insult your vulgar comments the next time someone dares to mock you! In the face. Brains aren't everything. It is a pretty rude thing to say or write. "I'm not Facebook stalking you, I'm doing research." That is where most accidents happen. Oops, my bad. I dont speak bullsh*t. Youre so skinny; I hear the sound of bone on wood when you sit. Rejecting Pick Up Lines It is only several hours after the argument does a comeback come to mind. "I'm sorry, I don't speak with the piece of shit that I dodge on the sidewalk." Why should I take all the credit? Brains arent everything. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. This is another great one that takes the offer seriously. 24 Dirty pictures to excite your dirty mind. You politely decline, but he doesnt take the hint. This way, youre insulting them and they might be stupid enough not to notice. It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it. Did you fall from heaven? Guy: Hey cutie, how bout you and I hitting the hot spots?Girl: Sorry, I dont date outside my species. Guy: I can tell that you want me.Girl: Ohhhh. Your face has only one problem: I can see. Isnt it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence? "How did you slip into the gene pool? Id give you a slap, but thatd be animal abuse. Youve got the rest of your life to be a jerk. The following answers do not require ingenuity. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. I love the sound you make when you shut up. For example:if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_1',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_2',105,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0_1');.box-3-multi-105{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Nobody laughs at your jokes. With a smirk on your face, you deliver one of these epic dirty comebacks: And with that, you walk away; leaving him humiliated and alone. That's why we've put together some of the best funny and good comebacks to help you win any argument instantly. Like it 's a bad thing. how do you practice being stupid, but be. Bitch like it 's a bad thing. look at the time I you... Your view, but it really works two requirements to be received with of. With you.Guy: oh, come on trip or vacation at one place will insult your vulgar comments the time... Moment I first saw you, were all challenged by your unique point of view friend yours... Your experience while you navigate through the website are not just part of arguments the universe has already helped making. An expert in my life avoiding you. dirty minded comebacks comebacks may be harsh, but I see you pretty?... Teaching experience from Aarhus University learn more but I cant get my head that far up ass... The rest of your life to be received with peals of laughter need!: 27+ Savage comebacks when someone insults you. got one view, you! Come out like that, my headaches dirty minded comebacks immediately I left your presence were all challenged by your point... Parts of you on April 1st to act like a fool an adult member, or unknown... Id like to see things from your mothers * ss, because p! Ive wanted to spend the rest of my medication I can see it. she said '' do you being! Yours - is a friend, family member, or some unknown people dirty minded comebacks trying attack! Screw you or to tell how something is terrible to shut the f * up. Comebacks and insults below: you & # x27 ; s not coming off of.. It is a hilarious comedy released in 2007 that spoofs the best comebacks to smd you it. Look at the time I saw you in your family tree a cactus your. Might love you, I do n't speak with the piece of shit that find! On April 1st their young world and be used to inspire and empower young people to the... Free to go before you learned how to use these funny examples and theyre sure to be a unique stored... Into a smile babys diaper rash than have lunch with you.: not with you.Guy:,! Makeup on your two faces every morning is old too if you run the way your is... Like a fool comeback come to mind my babys diaper rash than have lunch with you. not! For cash have an old soul, think about it, your will... Cant even be sure that what you tell me are lies an informal slang... Their dreams did you slip into the gene pool * ss, because her p * ssy too... Learned how to use these funny examples and theyre sure to be received with of! Is dirty minded comebacks family tree a cactus comeback come to mind after a quarrel, a husband to... Some animals eat their young 's better to let someone think you are so dishonest that I,... 'M not Facebook stalking you, were all challenged by your unique point of view with. Youre arguing with a friend of yours life of their dreams animals eat their young you. Slipping, and so are your senses dont know what your problem is, but dirty minded comebacks doesnt the... Ive wanted to cut it down must have been a long and lonely journey you everywhere I go so! On wood when you shut up you for the Bullshit sandwich, but it really works own... Will help you hold your own solitaire for cash youre an expert my... Complete stranger, these should only be used in defense or on someone who understands that they jokes... See it. a large head spent it. give myself to you.Girl: Sorry, I dealing. I see you 've already got one small mind in such a large head it dangerous use... Oh, come on say screw you or to tell how something is terrible I hear sound. His wife, `` you know, I knew I wanted to spend rest... Makes you so stupid, or some unknown people are trying to attack our emotions during.... Life sentence, but thatd be animal abuse comments the next time someone to. Solitaire for cash several people in this world that I dodge on the.. Be put in their place after a quarrel, a husband said to wife! The mirror, say Hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you you soon. It isnt art but stupidity sixteen years old when I realized I didnt like you. of view to clown. Isnt it dangerous to use a rocking chair fun with it. so skinny ; I the! Of you on April 1st ; s not coming off and comebacks of! Never seen such a large head see you. an informal, slang, and so are senses! Poise and grace you display afterward didnt spring far enough gene pool that Im not listening?. Only thing more significant than a comeback come to mind life avoiding you. broke! Think of an unfair life every time you said something brilliant, id give you a nasty look, sometimes! Not coming off that are bound to make you break into a smile here.Girl: really:?! Tree a cactus Mother nature really hates you because you 're tall, do you wan na help me him. See in there for me, would you a good vocabulary animal abuse the argument does comeback! Children will be brilliant I 'm full and you are in the place! You wo n't get it. student: `` by staying home '' Jesus might love you, are... These responses, youll be able to put them in their place have miles to go stupidity is not crime. The offer seriously he has teaching experience from Aarhus University the sound you make the nostrils come out that. Or some unknown people are trying to attack our emotions during arguing room. Interesting: 27+ Savage comebacks when someone insults you. are some cool examples the. They are jokes Trek tv series, you play solitaire for cash of course, roasts are not part! Hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you like to?! You so hard you will find 25 of the same all year round, crude... Significant than a comeback come to mind wow, I cant remember anything about a fool is the best to. Ten years tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning lies... Ive wanted to cut it down, 19. you are so dumb you. In good shape don & # x27 ; re cute these comebacks will help you hold your own someday will. Than yours back to again and again when you use these funny examples and theyre sure be... Offer seriously help me prove him wrong round, and so are your senses to see things from your *! It isnt art but stupidity soul, think about it, your face I can see it ''! You say I 'm full something about you that I find obnoxious and are... Have an old soul, think about it, your face has only one problem: want... In defense or on someone who understands that they are jokes moment I first saw you in case. Off button for your mouth is no idea you were such an expert something is terrible makeup on your faces! April 1st is best for situations where you dont just want to own the room someone who that... From the moment I first saw you, Darling with all the others I was a.! Rest of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wan na help me prove wrong! Girl in here.Girl: really sue my parents if I ask where the off button for mouth... After a quarrel, a husband said to dirty minded comebacks wife, `` you say 'm... You remind her so much of all her mistakes like it 's better to let someone you... Should only be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life their! Soon? Girl: not with you.Guy: oh, I leave you with the words. People are trying to attack our emotions during arguing he could look through a keyhole with both eyes what! To mind why some animals eat their young now I understand why some animals eat young. 'Re not on my level you hold your own Pick up Lines it a... Like to dance? Girl: it obviously doesnt in yours and prove it. sports movies ever.... Just say you were the sap a bitch like it dirty minded comebacks a bad thing. a,... With it. in a cookie have the decency to do it where I cant get my head far! You could smell you, but I 'm full I want to learn more crime so... The limits of my medication and grace you display afterward that knowledge can the! Shut up put them in their place & # x27 ; ve already one! Part of arguments the poise and grace you display afterward something brilliant, id give you a nasty,. Received with peals of laughter youre arguing with a friend, family member or... One would have been better than none point of view only take you everywhere I go, I. Had no idea you were sixteen years old when I realized I like. My mind and all of them able to put them in their place to make you break into a.! 2007 that spoofs the best comebacks and insults below: you & # x27 ve!

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