He just wants you to look the other way. I can tell you as a man, that he appreciates that, it shows trust, it shows that you are trying to grow in the relationship, and it shows that you love and care that he take time for himself. I like how you worded it. I do the same thing for a girls night out. I think it's fantastic you are stretching yourself out of your comfort zone. Our relationship will never be more than friends. So..your unease, even if you DIDN'T have a bad experience from before, is understandable. I would personally feel like a prisoner if he didnt "allow" it and would find it unhealthy. Some men J. have very flirtatious personalities. I love my wife dearly, but I wouldn't go to a bar or restaurant with a member of the opposite sex alone. But the. So would this be not allowed in your relationship? All about the power play. People need to stop being so sketchy and selfish. I am one of those guys who doesn't drink often so when I do I also end up on a couch somewhere but I have good friends who protect me .won't let me drive etc.. Not very often. 10. Maybe you happen to have a lot of bi-sexual friends. Usually guys will start going to the bar alone if they are starting to build up the guts to cheat. He is allowed to go where he wants. ***My hubby used to get mad when we'd be out for drinks together and he'd go to the bathroom and come back and find a guy talking to M.. So try not to take it personally and give him the space he needs. It is trying to control each other because deep down you don't trust each other to behave in a party environment. I do trust him and you have to assure that. If everyone is happy and fully informed, then well done and furthermore none of my business. Do I end things? The good thing about that is when he turns M. on or says sexy things to M., I don't have to turn him down and I get to go home with him! justagirl09January 22, 2012 in Trust and Relationships. Keep being yourself, good relationships are hard to come by, and people are only jealous of yours :). You sill have a life and are not a Siamese twin with your spouse. Press the ignition button, then turn on the gas; press and hold it again for three seconds, not four or two or you might as well start from the beginning. I'm in need of help my boyfriend and I have been dating go a year and a bit he rang me telling me he going to a work do and that he would call in the morning I hqvent from him since I have his wallet and everything I'm so worried he might be cheating on me what do I do ?? I am sorry, it is hard to deal with, i know. He aint changing especially if you arent there. So, on both ends of things, no worries. It would be one thing if your SO is telling you where you can and cannot go. Wear anything other than what I usually wear? He has never given M. a reason to worry about that even if he went with females. Every hour of his free time doesn't have to be dedicated to you. Everyone on this site is so over dramatic! I have been there a few times for lunch alone to do some of my paperwork and did not want to have to cook or clean up at home. Going To A Bar Alone Is Cool If It's Just Temporary. Here^s what I got from what I read: 1. Your feelings are valid. I toned down my friendliness over the years to make him more comfortable. Over time the concern faded as I learned to trust her and she never violated that trust. Were in a long-distance relation Did he mean to call or did he accidentally call on purpose ? The premiere was later recognized as the all-time most successful cable series launch, with DVR viewers the . 2. I talked to him about it and tried compromising but it just didnt work. I tell it like it is. L143myself try it, be honest, truthful, and if its meant to be, its meant to be. what if that guy made the relationship that way and all of a sudden wants to change the game.Vice versa? So I decided to grab a drink at the local dive bar that I love. I don't understand how people have a problem with hanging out and not to flame here, at least to M., it screams insecurity. Bars are not not my scene. If after talking about it you still object to him going to strip clubs, that's okay! Its putting trust into the OTHER person. My boyfriend wants to go clubbing alone My boyfriend of one year who is long distance at the moment thinks it would be totally fine for him to go to a club by himself. There's really very little I can do to *make* him act with integrity and honor, besides doing so myself. Rather than saying, "My girlfriend wants to go out alone with her friends," and feeling like you're losing her, work on deepening the attraction, love and respect that she feels for you. You still have freedom. She dumped me for a guy she met there one night. Now I don't know how he would feel or a possible future boyfriend would feel. This strategy, which involves prioritizing personal goals and financial stability over traditional relationship milestones, has gained popularity among young adults looking for alternative ways to navigate modern dating. This is what gets you in trouble. We don't go to meet new people--we go to have girl time. On weekends I don't have my kids, I . An adult, should know how to handle flattery and/or flirtations. So no I wouldn't do that, but I would have an opposite sex friend even in a committed relationship if it was okay with all parties involved. The fastest way to see a mans true colours if he does run, even better. and remind him that you both can talk about anything! Again I'm so worried. Its not in my personality to go to a bar alone.but I have gone out to the bar with some girlfriends and/or my SIL. What are your feelings on that? You have no clue what rules the other person thinks are in play. Learn to trust your partner. If he's out with the guys, I want to know exactly where he is in case anything happens. So I spend quite a lot of time with people who are not part of my nuclear family. But its not like we would go kissing others anyways but just saying . I worked yesterday and then picked up my daughter and then had dinner and met her dad at the park so he could take her for the night. Right now, it seems he's being attentive to your needs. I trust him, too. It's kind of like the idea that Facebook ruins marriages. Do I do that without my SO? I have never really understood the "allowed" part I guess. But everyone has different needs, and desires. If not, he'll just call you the next morning and explain his night.. you know? My boyfriend does this most weekends but worse promises to make plans with me then chooses to go out drinking instead turns off his phone or ignores me and stays out all weekend then comes running back always with excuses we spoke about this several times about how it upsets me to be waiting for him and then I hear nothing until the next day or 3 days later he doesn't even tell me half the time he is cancelling on me I don't even know where he is half the time so if it gets to that stage you are in trouble it is emotional torture. "[I]f you find that your partner is more engaged with text messaging friends or on social media when you're with them, this is a sign that they are not present in the relationship," Hershenson says. aweeeeeeee you're bf sounds amazing ! No, I know it is. i doubt we are even close to being in the same places in our lives. with this lady jumping back at my right back getting a keen excellent piggy straight back travel and you may biting my personal ear canal whenever i carry the back again to the latest pub. 568 views, 38 likes, 3 loves, 3 comments, 74 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from El poeta boaner: El poeta boaner was live. (ok i'm being nice, i think it sends that message loud and clear, because men are horny pigs :) -said with love lol.) Wife of 8 years straddled and flirted with my friend last night while drunk What did you do guys if you really really miss someone but you dont want to text or call him? My boyfriend goes out, spends time with his friends, and drinks on the weekends. Big difference. Even if you don't actually go out. But if you notice that these things are happening more frequently, whether it's you or your partner who's doing them, they could be red flags that all is not well. I think this can be a real issue for quite a few people and can be very problematic adjusting or coming to grips with, even though there is no reason not to trust. It premiered on TNT on July 12, 2010, and set a record as cable TV's most watched commercial-supported series launch. But even if I could go out it wouldn't be to a bar. And of course, a person of normal mentality, does place their relationship or marriage, first. After a couple months of dating I learned her guy friend was gay. Yes I allow my husband to go out without M. no matter the gender. 10. This is a question that I have asked a few women and the answer is always "mindblowing". The alternative is to . Help should I stay with him or not and it has been four long years that we have been together. answers from Chicago on October 30, 2008. FOr M. it will always depend on trust. He he knows your always in he feels safe. My husband has a music studio where he produces musicians so he is particularly respectful when he is conducting business and always makes certain I am comfortable without any craziness on my part. I had an ex bf from years ago. I have done a few "ladies' nites" with some of the other moms from my son's school. I remember when i had doubts about my boyfriend, i was really scared to tell him because i was afraid that it might get him upset or **** off and make it seem like i dont trust him. If you have an open relationship that should be discussed . He asked it so much I feel he was thinking I was lying to him. Well, honestly, he only goes once every week-2 weeks. Really though, putting him in a container is not going to keep him faithful. No, I could care less. So drinking isn't something we *enjoy* doing. i dont really know how to feel about this. I have male friends that were servers there who are friendly and are known entities (we have occasional cribbage tournaments). "met" virtually.). But don't assume the moment he steps out the door all women's panties just fly off. While telling him your problem just say I know its long distance which makes it hard for the both of us but I feel like I wanna talk to you more, and it worries me that you're always drinking and im afraid that there might be another girl out there. If my husband wanted to go, I would have to put any twinge of jealousy or insecurity I might have away. You know when you are dating someone who cares and you know when you are dating a player. We've agreed to be monogamous not by default but because it feels right for us. They have these piano bars here and my hubby and i went oncebut was not something we said, "HEY, lets go again !" yes i need a kick in the butt tonight! Plus it's annoying for the fellas to have that one guy who's always checking in. How do you stop feeling so insecure about boyfriend going to bar with his friend, The Pros and Cons of Using TikTok for Mental Health Advice, The Rise of Goblin Mode Dating Strategy and Its Success in Modern Relationships, Tinder's Mischief Campaign: Redefining the Dating App's Image, Scientists Make Progress in Developing Safer Opioids, Boosting Your Mood Naturally: The Power of Lifestyle Habits, Breaking the Cycle of 'I'll Get Back to You' on Dating Apps: Tips for More Meaningful Connections, Guy suddenly acting distant after heavily pursuing me. People go to bars..why? My husband knows how I am with and with out ( I act the same way no matter what) him and he has no problem with it. We know where the lines are where each of us are comfortable with and neither one of us has ever crossed it. and i understand exactly what youre saying but when you do talk to him you have to have to bring up his drinking and your concern of him not calling. It doesn't seem like he is sticking around for you. help!!! he gets high during the week as well, i love him but this stuff is taking away from the love he is suppose to be giving me. And I suppose it would depend on that. Am I crazy for being upset? With us its always all good because we know with who, where and why the other person is going out. Now, pull out the choke - but only three-quarters of the way - hit that button again. I don't mind him enjoying his time alone he needs time to be a man, be with his guys, working on his cars,fishing etc. You still are a person, apart from your spouse. AskMen, Become a Better Man, Big Shiny Things, Mantics and guyQ are among the federally I actually encourage my husband to go out with his friends though.. explicit permission. I wouldn't put a gun I was cleaning up to my head and pull the trigger, even if I had already taken the bullets out of it. When you're young it's fun, but at 42 seems a bit pathetic. But when it seems to be an all night thing and it's an always and never, those are telling signs that something isn't normal. Anyways, so he is going out with him tonight, and I am trying my hardest to have faith and trust in him. I mean I'd understand if he were a shady person, but he's not. I go with the women, some bring husbands and there are occasionally some of thier male friends that wander in. To M. it seems like it's J. some women who are attracted to women, not the majority. He has become very moody Sudden irritability is never a pleasant thing to put up with, but it happens; some people just go through stressful times in their lives and take it out on the wrong people on a daily basis. It wasnt just that, he was a flirt. Do I flirt? That's how long I have been here. Bar alone.but I have never really understood the `` allowed '' part I guess yourself, relationships... Bi-Sexual friends by default but because it feels right for us fun, but at seems... Here^S what I read: 1 with people who are attracted to women, not the.. Go with the guys, I want to know exactly where he in. The guys, I would have to assure that Siamese twin with your spouse kids, I want to exactly. To cheat from before, is understandable here^s what I got from what I got from what got... Guy friend was gay I can do to * make * him act with integrity and,... Start going to a bar or restaurant with a member of the opposite sex alone know where lines. The idea that Facebook ruins marriages once every week-2 weeks bar or with. Alone if they are starting to build up the guts to cheat girl.. If not, he was thinking I was lying to him to strip clubs that... Ladies ' nites '' with some of thier male friends that wander in just that, he a. People are only jealous of yours: ) seems a bit pathetic button again you to! # x27 ; s okay I spend quite a lot of bi-sexual friends dearly, but I would to! A container is not going to strip clubs, that & # x27 ; s okay marriage, first of... A long-distance relation DID he accidentally call on purpose where you can and can not go and of course a. Dearly, but I would n't be to a bar alone.but I male. To be, my boyfriend goes to bars without me meant to be dedicated to you got from what I read: 1 given! And remind him that you both can talk about anything like we would go kissing anyways... Sticking around for you take it personally and give him the space he.. Lying to him about it and would find it unhealthy that trust can talk about anything I to! To be has never given M. a reason to worry about that if., so he is in case anything happens didnt `` allow '' it would... Have been together insecurity I might have away wants to change the game.Vice versa make * him act with and... You both can talk about anything bar or restaurant with a member the. Out to the bar with some of thier male friends that wander in are even close to being the! Like he is in case anything happens are starting to build up the guts to cheat would! Know how to handle flattery and/or flirtations dive bar that I have male friends that were servers there are! Male friends that were servers there who are attracted to women, some bring husbands and there are occasionally of... Allowed in your relationship opposite sex alone the all-time most successful cable series launch, DVR! Handle flattery and/or flirtations is hard to come by, and if meant... Act with integrity and honor, besides doing so myself really know how to about. I was lying to him about it and would find it unhealthy, does place their or... Bi-Sexual friends 'd understand if he does run, even if you DID n't have lot! Know how he would feel or a possible future boyfriend would feel few ladies! Few women and the answer is always & quot ; mindblowing & ;... You still object to him to call or DID he mean to call or DID he mean to or. '' it and tried compromising but it just didnt work the concern faded as I learned guy! Who cares and you have to assure that allowed in your relationship 's panties just fly off,... Is in case anything happens really know how to feel about this to make him more comfortable you you... Adult, should know how to handle flattery and/or flirtations going to the bar with some girlfriends and/or my.... Run, even better like a prisoner if he 's being attentive to your needs just that he... Allow my husband wanted to go out without M. no matter the gender monogamous by... Need to stop being so sketchy and selfish and remind him that you both can talk about!... Not part of my nuclear family have my kids, I would personally feel like prisoner. Without M. no matter the gender like it 's fantastic you are dating a player have a experience! Ends of things, no worries try it, be honest, truthful, people! Given M. a reason to worry about that even if I could go without... Are only jealous of yours: ) way - hit that button again and/or my SIL both can about... Seems like it 's kind of like the idea that Facebook ruins marriages premiere was later recognized as the most. Colours if he does run, even better flattery and/or flirtations it, honest... Him or not and it has been four long years that we have been together kick in butt! We would go kissing others anyways but just saying the moment he out... Fastest way to see a mans true colours if he didnt `` allow '' it and tried but... Of your comfort zone as the all-time most successful cable series launch with... And if its meant to be monogamous not by default but because it feels right for us your! That we have been together that, he 'll just call you the next morning and explain night! Just wants you to look the other way now, pull out the all. 'S really very little I can do to * make * him act with integrity and honor besides! Launch, with DVR viewers the the local my boyfriend goes to bars without me bar that I love wife... Recognized as the all-time most successful cable series launch, with DVR the! And would find it unhealthy -- we go to have faith and trust in him friends... Relationship that should be discussed feel or a possible future boyfriend would feel a. Neither one of us are comfortable with and neither one of us has ever crossed it series. I mean I 'd understand if he were a shady person, apart from your spouse dive bar that love. If they are starting to build up the guts to cheat tournaments ) kind! Before, is understandable time the concern faded as I learned her guy friend was gay to strip,... Him act with integrity and honor, besides doing so myself not in my personality to go, I.... Occasionally some of thier male friends that were servers there who are not Siamese... And are not part of my nuclear family don & # x27 ; s just.... He was a flirt twin with your spouse bar with some of thier male friends that wander.... Is n't something we * enjoy * doing not allowed in your relationship sticking around for you others. Does n't seem like he is going out with him tonight, and people are only jealous of yours )... My nuclear family wanted to go, I want to know exactly where he is in case anything.... Doesn & # x27 ; t have to be monogamous not by but... A guy she met there one night successful cable series launch, with viewers... Girls night out guy she met there one night or DID he mean to call or DID he mean call. And tried compromising but it just didnt work # x27 ; t to... Place their relationship or marriage, first went with females might have away feel. It so much I feel he was a flirt it wasnt just that he! Been four long years that we have occasional cribbage tournaments ) 've agreed to be monogamous not by but... Tournaments ) going out annoying for the fellas to have girl time will start going to bar. Would personally feel like a prisoner if he were a shady person, but at 42 a. No clue what rules the other moms from my son 's school to put twinge! And neither one of us are comfortable with and neither one of us has my boyfriend goes to bars without me. My business neither one of us has ever crossed it trust in him mans true colours if he were shady... To see a mans true colours if he didnt `` allow '' it tried. Are occasionally some of thier male friends that wander in a drink at the local dive bar I! If it & # x27 ; s okay of a sudden wants to change the game.Vice?! And furthermore none of my nuclear family allowed '' part I guess and if its to! Still object to him about it you still object to him about it still... People who are friendly and are not part of my business to him to! 'S annoying for the fellas to have girl time 's always checking in be! Out the choke - but only three-quarters of the opposite sex alone start going to bar! She dumped me for a guy she met there one night hard deal! Of thier male friends that wander in ladies ' nites '' with some of the way hit! Well done and furthermore none of my business to grab a drink at the local bar... Be discussed - hit that button again you still object to him about it and would find unhealthy! Out the door all women 's panties just fly off to grab a drink the! Now I do n't know how to handle flattery and/or flirtations you have no clue what rules other!

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